Laws of Life

THE LAWS OF LIFE

Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

& Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Rugs/Carpets - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.

& Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilsonʼs Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (this one is true every time!)

& Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.